The Top Inspirational Quotes From George Carlin

George Carlin is one of the most profound comedians ever. His jokes are funny but most importantly the topics he talks bout tends to leave a lasting impact on our lives.

Below are some quotes from George Carlin. Enjoy.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. George Carlin

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands. George Carlin

Always do whatever’s next. George Carlin

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin

If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him. George Carlin

Religion is just mind control. George Carlin

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on? George Carlin

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Author: Khoa Bui

Khoa Bui is an author, trainer and chief editor of YouBeRelentless. He enjoys reading books on self development, success, productivity, money, relationships and leadership. When he's not writing, he likes to enjoy a glass of red wine with a fine cuban cigar while watching the entire season of Entourage. You can check out Khoa's work at

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