Not to sound like a negative navy but we all tend to experience misery and hardship when things don’t go our way. We lose our safe and secure job. We lose our relationship. We lose our money. We lose our health.
Little do we know that everything in life changes. You may be hired in one of the most prestigious high paying jobs and then after a while, something happens and we lose it. It turns out, that it’s not in our control. Someone gets hired without you knowing and your job is suddenly replaced. This happened with no effort on your part.
In Buddhism, there is a concept called “impermanence” where it means that everything in life changes. There’s nothing you can do about it. No matter how hard you plan, strategy and prepare, you just can’t control change, only anticipate it.
This is where unhappiness begins to arise. It’s only when we cling onto things and events that will eventually change that makes us unhappy. If we cling to our jobs, we will become unhappy when we lose it. If we cling to our relationships, we’ll be unhappy when it changes. If we cling to our career, we’ll be unhappy when something changes. Hence, there is no point in holding onto things for they will eventually change.
If you’re holding onto something, you’ll go mad because that thing you hold so dear will change and will make you miserable.
This was one of the most profound secrets I’ve ever learnt in staying happy. Accepting that everything in life changes and that we must let go and live in the present movement while anticipating change.
What I Learnt About Change As A Manager
I used to work in corporate as a manager for several business accounts. My role was to ensure everyone was communicating effectively, build a quality relationship and also ensure revenue would continually flow.
Being a manager, it’s expected that you must have control over everything in order to ensure you succeed.
After a year of being a big shot manager, there was one thing I learned. No matter how hard I tried, I could never control anyone or anything. No matter how many plans I had, how many times I controlled things, the unexpected would just popup without my knowledge. I could never expect things to happen and they just happened.
I worked 80 hours a week and continually did everyone in my power to ensure I would win.
However after a year, I stopped being a manager and took a break for several months. During those several months, I learned a profound secret which was that I had no control over anything. I could influence it but ultimately I had no control. The only things I could control were my responses, my actions and my choices. That’s about it.
I learned to let go and just embrace uncertainty.
If there was one thing I could give away in this article, it would be this. Learn to let go. When you let go of things and events, you become detached and you’ll become happier in life. I know it sounds weird but try it for 30 days and see how you feel. I promise you’ll never look at life the same way again.
Stay Strong and Be Relentless.