When I moved from Perth to Sydney to take up a career opportunity, I pretty much lived alone for an entire year. While most people would begin socialising and networking within their space, I decided to do something completely different. Stay solo.
You may be thinking that’s a bit snobby but I don’t care. I’ve already spent my 20s socialising, going out, partying, chasing girls and more. After reflection, I’ve realised that whenever I would spend time alone to work on projects that were meaningful for me, I would be happy with the result.
The memories of parties were become a blur due to alcohol infusion. However the projects that you carefully worked on and saw them into fruition tends to live on for many years to come. It was then I realised that I’m in my mid 30s and moving to a completely new state with no friends, I can start fresh.
I did decide to network with new business associates, however I wanted to keep my circle small. Mainly because I don’t want the drama that drains my energy. Going out to endless dinners and chatting about the news when I could be at home working on a new book or project.
There was a quote that also stuck with me for many years. “If you’re broke and looking forward to going out partying with friends, your shit broken.” This is so true.
I believe once you value time and realise how precious it is, you start to act differently. If you truly get this, you’ll know what I mean. When someone asks you to come out and party, you know it’s going to consume a few hours of your time on a Friday night. But if you’re dreaming of building an online business, your priorities shift and you would rather spend that Friday night learning how to code or fix your WordPress template while they turn it up in the club.
People will of course call you a snob. They will say you’re a loner. You don’t have any friends and don’t get along with people. Unfortunately, you just have to deal with these comments and continue chipping away on whatever it is you’re working on.
You can never have everything perfect. You need to accept this for you can’t write those books, build that online website, create the life you want and expect the people around you to understand.
Just recently I was chatting to my friend who’s a YouTube blogger. She publishes videos on makeup and she’s starting to build a following. I’m really proud of her (damn I sound like a father) and I can really see potential in her. She told me that i’m one of the few people who actually encourages her while even her close friends don’t really understand what she’s doing.
This goes to show that no matter what you do in life, people will never understand. They will never see the vision that you have. They have sight, but no vision. Therefore it’s up to you to stay true to yourself.
If you have a dream, you have to protect it. Don’t let others drown your inner voice. Watch out for negative and toxic people because all it takes is just one drop of poison to kill you.
I once watched a very successful man give a seminar on wealth attraction. You may have heard of him, his name is Dan Kennedy. He was giving a talk and someone asked him a question. The question was “how do you deal with toxic people?” He then began to explain his method of dealing with toxic people which is simply blocking their words. He would reenact a phrase from a toxic person and then Dan would say “no no no” while covering his ears.
That little scene, even though minor, has really left an impact on me. For Dan Kennedy really understood the importance of keeping your mind clean from toxic beliefs.
Just recently I did a process called the “Dickens Process” which was taught by Tony Robbins. This process goes deep and looks at your core beliefs. When you realise that your core beliefs are limiting you, you suddenly destroy them and mindful of your beliefs. Look it up on YouTube and check it out. You’ll know what I mean. If you would like to know more about Tony Robbin’s great business coaching, check him out here.
Therefore, in order to be successful, you have to avoid the average Joe. The average Joe watches TV, reads the news, gossips, isn’t goal oriented or ambitious. When you’re working hard and trying to accomplish something that’s important to you, the average Joe will see it and try to tear you down.
In Australia, this is called “Tall Poppy Syndrome” where a Poppy is a large flower that grows taller than the other flowers. As soon as it’s taller than the other flowers, it gets cut down. Same goes with the Philippines but they call it “Crab Mentality”. Where if you look at a bucket of crabs, if one crab tries to escape, the other crabs will pull the crab back down and may even cut the legs off.
This mentality of cutting people down who are accelerating in life is such a poisonous disease. Not only it’s difficult achieving what you want in life, you get people pulling you back down as well.
Therefore the only way for you to get ahead is to surround yourself with winners and people who support you. Never hang around negative people and it’s best to be alone rather than a room full of poisonous people who are the dream killers.
Stay Strong, Stay focused and Be Relentless.