How to Instantly Change Your Emotions By Using The Contrasting Technique

Have you ever had a bad day where everything just seems to go wrong? I’m sure you have, on many occasions. No matter what happens, you just can’t seem to catch a break and things just seem useless. You feel as if you’ve been cursed and nothing good ever happens.

However there’s also the good days where things just go right, but mostly, there’s crap days isn’t there?

If you ever feel like you need to get out of your depressed and sad mood, try contrasting. For example, you may be annoyed at a few people at work. Someone’s taken your lunch again, your co-workers are ignoring you, you’ve been passed over for promotion and so forth.

The list is endless. When you get home from work, you just want to lye in bed and stay there forever. You may feel that you’re the most unluckiest person on the planet.

However, sadness and depression is a state of mind. Our mind tends to focus on the negative over the positive. I can’t answer why our brains do this but they just do. Negative events and people tend to hog our mental space more than the positive. Hence if we have a bad day, we only focus on the negative rather than the positive.

By understanding that we fall for the habit of focusing on the negative, we can use the contrasting technique to pull ourselves out of this limiting state.

What Is Contrasting?

Perhaps I’ll give you an example. Earlier tonight, I was in a crappy mood. Things just didn’t go well today and I wasn’t feeling motivated at all. In fact, I just wasn’t motivated at all during the entire day. I’m always pumped up and determined to take on the world but today wasn’t those days.

Instead at the end of the day, I just stayed home and didn’t do anything. I was in a crappy mood and wanted a way to get out of it.

So then I remembered back to what my mentor once taught me. My mentor who is owns several businesses around the world said that in order for him to get out of his depressed state no matter how successful he is, he always contrasts his life to others.

What he did was that he looked at other people who are in the same boat or worse. There are many people out there who have 100 times more problems than you and they would do anything to trade places with you.

I was reading an article about the top worst places to live in and one of them was in Bangladesh in a place called “Dhaka”. I had never heard of this place so I did some research. I watched a few videos on this place and immediately I felt grateful for not living there and struggling.

Comparing that place to Sydney’s living standards, I’m living like a King. Now I know this sounds egotistical but it doesn’t that have to be places. It could also be previous history of people who have died in vain or struggled before you. Many people have struggled all their lives to make a living.


In retrospect, we must always remember that we are not alone. There are people who are going through the exact same circumstances as us and even worse. Many people before us have had problems so much greater than us and we must always remember to be grateful for the problems we have, despite how bad it seems.

Stay Strong and Be Relentless.

Khoa Bui

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Author: Khoa Bui

Khoa Bui is an author, trainer and chief editor of YouBeRelentless. He enjoys reading books on self development, success, productivity, money, relationships and leadership. When he’s not writing, he likes to enjoy a glass of red wine with a fine cuban cigar while watching the entire season of Entourage. You can check out Khoa’s work at

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