How To Build Rapport and Influence People

Several years ago, I was working in a software development company writing software for big educational organisations in Australia. I was earning a low salary and was feeling unfulfilled in my life.

As a software developer, my job was to continually write code day in, day out. With almost zero interaction with people, I stayed in my cubicle and wrote code all day long. There would be times when I would get up and go to the water cooler and see people then I would return back to my cubicle and work.

The Man In The Suit 

One day, a man dressed in full Armarni suit had walked into the building and proceeded straight to the big bosses office. My cubicle was next to the bosses office so I overheard conversation. I heard laughter and fun conversation. He later left the building and drove off in his convertible.

A few days later, that same man was hired in the company and was positioned as a project manager. He got the entire software development team together in a meeting room and helped us create better software and guide us to better productivity.

I was really amazed and even inspired with the way this man spoke to everyone, being a software developer, I was very shy and didn’t know how to communicate very well. But this man was always smiling, listening and seemed to get along with everyone.

He seemed to have the midas touch and turned everything to gold.

The Meeting

One day, I gathered up my courage and approached that man in his office. With a big smile on his face, he said “Hi Khoa! Great work on your latest project by the way! Now what can I do for you?”

I asked him if I could quickly sit down and ask him what his secrets were in being successful.

He then said with a serious look on his face.

“Khoa, in my industry, I manage thousands of people from all walks of life. They all have different view points with different beliefs. If you want to get ahead in life, you need to learn to work with people”

I then said “What do you mean work with people? I’m already doing this!”

He then replied “You need to learn how to communicate effectively and get along with people”

Years Later

Several years later, I went from being a shy, introverted and unconfident person writing code in a cubicle to travelling the world and speaking to thousands of people on stage. I’ve been on TV, Radio and Magazines. I have my own TV show and get to interview celebrities and famous people.

So how did I manage to go from being super shy to having the confidence to approach anyone and work with thousands of people?

I learnt how to get along with people, communicate more effectively and build rapport.

Changing Perspectives

I want you to look around you right now and see all the objects nearby. Everything you see was created by someone. It initially was a thought. The buildings, sky scrapers, the tv, the internet, everything was created inside someone’s mind.

Therefore, everything is powered by people.

By understanding people, getting along with people, building quality relationship with people and most importantly building rapport with people, you’ll succeed.

Have you ever heard of the statement “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”?

That statement is still 100% true in today’s world.

How many times have you seen opportunities pass you by all because someone knew someone.

Building rapport and learning how to get along with people is the cornerstone to success.

3 steps to building rapport and getting along with people

1. Use their name

People love to hear their own name. When you hear you own name, you feel proud, you feel appreciated and you feel important. Next time you talk to someone, practice the habit of using their name on a regular basis. Write emails thanking them with their name attached. People will feel more appreciated around you and they will be more inclined to help you with your needs.

2. Genuinely Care

Help others before you help yourself. When you genuinely care about someone, they can feel this and they will be inclined to help you back. Have you ever been in trouble and someone came along and helped you get out of your mess? How did you feel about that person who helped you? By helping others and caring for others, you’ll reap the rewards later.

3. Study People

Whenever you’re out in public, in a meeting, talking to someone, think about how people get along with each other. Ask yourself, how did that person approach that person with so much confidence? How did that person resolve that conflict? How did that person ask that girl out for a drink when he hardly knew her? How? Keep studying people and always read books and learn more about relationships.
Let’s all continue learning how to communicate well and get along with people through building massive rapport.

Stay Strong and Be Relentless.

Khoa Bui

PS. If you liked this article, try my coaching program that will help you achieve your goals. Simply send me an email and I’ll hook you up.

Download Your 2 Free Books!

Simply enter your details below for instant access!

We respect your privacy.

Author: Khoa Bui

Khoa Bui is an author, trainer and chief editor of YouBeRelentless. He enjoys reading books on self development, success, productivity, money, relationships and leadership. When he’s not writing, he likes to enjoy a glass of red wine with a fine cuban cigar while watching the entire season of Entourage. You can check out Khoa’s work at

Share This Post On

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

eleven − five =

Join The Growing Relentless Community

Download Your 2 Free Books!